“There was a girl in my family who shared how all her friends were in relationships—engaged, with boyfriends, etc.—and she felt like she had nothing “happening” in her own life. However, she said, “I know that by keeping myself pure, Allah will bless me with something better.” I told her, ‘Mark today in your memory. I promise, in the future, you’ll receive what will truly make you happy.’
And guess what? It hadn’t even been a year before a wonderful proposal came her way. She got married and is very happy now. Curious, I asked her about her friends—the ones who seemed to have it all back then. Her response was eye-opening. “Not one of them is married,’ she said, ‘and none of them are satisfied.”
Attraction: The Elephant in the Room
Opposite genders are like petrol and fire. And this isn’t changing—not tomorrow, not ever. So, it’s high time we confront the truth: the whole “just friends” narrative.
The fact remains—there’s nothing platonic about a guy and a girl being friends.
READ THAT AGAIN!
A Culture of “Cool” Gone Wrong
Schools, colleges, and universities have become major breeding grounds for these issues, pushing haya (modesty) out the window. For guys, the more girlfriends they flaunt, the more “heroic” they appear. For girls, it’s the same game—attention from guys equals validation. Hookup culture is now the new status symbol.
Entertainment media acts as cheerleaders in this circus, fueling the idea that being desired equals being worthy.
As a Result….
Peer pressure skyrockets. Flirting becomes a sport. Long night calls and sneaky dates become the norm. And let’s not even start on how music, drugs, and alcohol play into the mix, amplifying the chaos.
Factually speaking, there are very few people who are genuinely lovestruck; the rest seem to have just jumped on the bandwagon. Even when it’s real, unchecked feelings lead to disaster—breakups, broken families, and emotional wreckage. Suicide rates and divorces speak for themselves.
Reality Check: What Are We Chasing?
- Does being “lovestruck” bring joy—or misery?
- Does having a boyfriend or girlfriend really define you?
- Is this the life goal—or is there something bigger?
The truth is simple but uncomfortable. Islam provides clear, practical guidelines for managing these feelings. Modesty, lowering your gaze, and maintaining boundaries aren’t “old-fashioned”—they’re lifelines. Islam channels natural attraction through Nikah, elevating it from impulsive to meaningful.
What If Marriage Isn’t Possible Right Now?
It was narrated that ‘Abdullah said: “The Messenger of Allah said to us: ‘O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity, and whoever cannot then he should fast, for it will be a restraint (wija’) for him.” [Sunan an-Nasa’i 3209]
In addition,
- DO NOT spill your feelings to the world. The more you share, the deeper you fall.
- Very important: Press STOP to that post-marriage dreamy movie playing in your mind. Idealising the haram relationship will only drag you further down.
- Shift your focus and redirect your energy into your spiritual development. The stronger your connection with Allah (SWT), the lighter this burden feels.
The Way Forward!
Islam isn’t about suppressing feelings—it’s about channelling them in ways that bring peace, not destruction. Let us redefine our “cool” by leading lives that we’ll be proud of in this world and the next. In Sha Allah
Where do I start?
First and foremost:
Cut out all unnecessary interactions with the opposite gender. This also includes all your “just friends.”
Final Thoughts!
Life isn’t about how many people want you—it’s about who you’re becoming. Don’t let temporary feelings lead to permanent regret. You’re worth so much more than that.
And just like the sister you read about at the start, know for a fact: if you give something up, trusting Allah (SWT), you will surely receive something better in return.This law is stronger than gravity, and if you truly believe in it, you will witness miracles in your life.
