The wedding season is back, and so are the endless piles of invitations—some with opulent gold embossing, some with quirky designs that make you wonder if they’re trying to be too cool for school, and others that scream “we’re simple, but still extra.”
As I look at my calendar filled with wedding events (again), I can’t help but reflect on the top seven things that still make me cringe, despite all the glamour and glitz. These annoyances might have been the same in the 2010s, but trust me, they’re still alive and well in 2024.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. The Timings
Nothing has changed in this department. You arrive an hour “fashionably” late (because that’s what the invite suggests), only to find the venue half-empty and the staff still setting up. Meanwhile, your Instagram is flooded with photos of the bride’s pre-wedding shoot from hours ago. The event starts at 7 PM? Sure, but the grand entry won’t happen until 9:30 PM.
2. The Pesky Photographers, Now with Drones
Gone are the days when wedding photographers just hovered like vultures. Now, it’s drones and 360-degree cameras capturing every awkward moment—especially while you’re eating. Attending a wedding doesn’t mean you’ve agreed to be filmed. Professional photographers? How about some professional ethics?
3. Basic Biryani & Kababs Turned More Instagrammable
Weddings in Pakistan have always revolved around food, but now it’s evolved. Think massive stations with live cooking, decadent dessert tables, and sushi counters (because why not?). Yet, the moment dinner is announced, all sophistication vanishes. Guests swarm as though the world is about to end and they need to grab that last chicken wing, leaving you with a plate of dry kebabs.
4. The Music
After being bored for an hour, just when you find someone worth talking to at your table, BAM! The DJ cranks up the volume. Any hopes of having a normal conversation now go straight out the window. Forcing people to endure your favorite playlist on loop for hours? Very close to torture. And look out—you are single-handedly weighing yourself down in the sin of 500+ guests being forced into the haram.
5. Nosy Aunties 2.0
Aunties at weddings are a timeless classic. The conversation starts with, “How are you?” quickly moves to, “Where’s your dress from?” and, of course, lands on, “So, when are you getting married?” But in 2024, they’ve leveled up with Instagram. Mid-chat, they’ll snap a sneaky photo and post it with captions like “Future bahu vibes” or “Looking gorgeous!” Um, excuse me—what?!
6. The Future Mother-in-Laws, Now on WhatsApp
Rishta aunties are still going strong, but now they’re more connected. Forget the usual age or status questions—it’s all done in group chats under the guise of “family networking.” And those cryptic gems like, “She’s such a nice girl, don’t you think?” Nice try, Aunty, but your son is 24! And just like that, she’s off to scout her next future bahu.
7. Doodh-Pilai with a Twist
In 2024, doodh-pilai has gone gourmet. The groom now gets his pick—Hazelnut, Strawberry, or the ever-so-fancy Shahi Doodh. If I were the bride, I’d call it quits by now. Let’s spare the poor guy from these ridiculous joota-chupais and rasta-rukais. It’s a wedding, not a product campaign!
So, what is it that you dislike about our weddings? Let me know in the comments below!
