You know there’s a surah in the Quran that’s more woke than all the books on ethics and social ‘isms’ we’ve ever penned down. It portrays a world where respect is the currency, drama takes a backseat, blame-games are tossed out the window, and unity is the end-goal. This surah is like the blueprint to form an invincible squad that’s all about mutual respect and understanding, where gossip is so last-season and being a tight-knit community is the real flex.
So how does this happen? In a world, where we are taught to be critically aware and opinionated, how is it possible to vibe right and avoid conflicts? Here’s a rundown of a few short but powerful pointers discussed in surah Al-Hujurat, that apply to both online and offline (even Metaverse) tricky scenarios that you get caught up in. So add them in the unwritten archives of girl code/ bro code.
Respect: I know it’s really hard to control the urge to roll your eyes sometimes, but hold on. No relationship can exist without respect. The common ground for all Muslims is obedience and respect for Allah (SWT) and His Messenger ﷺ. It is only after this that you will be able to respect others despite your differences. No matter how much someone gets on your nerves and how ridiculous you find their statements, be kind and be patient. Hold those witty comebacks.
Even in religious debates where we all feel we know better, cut people some slack because hey, we worship the same God and follow the same prophets. In fact, the person who does know better is the one who remains quiet and doesn’t jump on the first opportunity to flaunt his intellectual superiority.
“Indeed, those who lower their voices in the presence of Allah’s Messenger are the ones whose hearts Allah has refined for righteousness. They will have forgiveness and a great reward.” [Quran 49:3]
Patch up, don’t break up: Don’t fan the flames. When you see two sides arguing, instead of adding fuel to the fire, be the arbitrator who patches things up. You don’t have to be the judge to see who is right and side with them, just try to keep the peace, and fight only when one side breaks that peace and rebels.
“And if two groups of believers fight each other, then make peace between them. But if one of them transgresses against the other, then fight against the transgressing group until they ˹are willing to˺ submit to the rule of Allah. If they do so, then make peace between both ˹groups˺ in all fairness and act justly. Surely Allah loves those who uphold justice.” [Quran 49:9]
Avoid jumping to conclusions: I think we’ve seen enough dramas (real-time and on-screen) to know we should avoid presumptions like the plague. Nothing escalates a situation quicker than falling into baseless suspicions that might stain someone’s character forever.
“O believers! Avoid many suspicions, ˹for˺ indeed, some suspicions are sinful.” [Quran 49:12]
Fact-check: Don’t spread misinformation. Be critical of any news (especially the ones that make you let out a scandalous oooh) that you read or hear. With that share button and screenshots, it’s easier than ever to make it go viral. Instead of spreading the latest scoop with added details from your side, cross-check it first. Even if it’s true but not productive, then just don’t relay it.
“O believers, if an evildoer brings you any news, verify ˹it˺ so you do not harm people unknowingly, becoming regretful for what you have done.” [Quran 49:6]
Don’t gossip: Beware of all Karens, beware of being in the gossip grapevine and beware of being toxic yourself. In the name of “investigative journalism”, don’t try to pry into the lives of other people. Privacy is sacred. And everyone is entitled to theirs. In short, just go about your own business.
“And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that! And fear Allah. Surely Allah is ˹the˺ Acceptor of Repentance, Most Merciful.” [Quran 49:12]
No name-calling: This is another social norm that our mums have been telling us since forever. And it’s legit mentioned in the Quran too. I couldn’t believe it when I first read it because it seemed trivial to me, but Allah (SWT) has given it enough importance to mention it directly. This tells you how emotional well-being is important to build a strong community. FYI– this includes body-shaming as well.
“O believers! Do not let some ˹men˺ ridicule others, they may be better than them, nor let ˹some˺ women ridicule other women, they may be better than them. Do not defame one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames.” [Quran 49:11]
Don’t be a racist: For the west, racism is different privileges for the black and white. But for us, it’s differentiating between Sindhi, Punjabi, Balochi, Pathan and the rest. Avoid making and sharing jokes that demean some castes and elevate some.
“O humanity! Indeed, We created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may ˹get to˺ know one another. Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you. Allah is truly All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [Quran 49:13]
Surah Al-Hujurat, though only 18 verses long, has profound wisdom on communication and social norms. It guides you on how to have difficult conversations, how to deal with a diverse group of people and how to avoid conflict. You might have noticed that the recurrent theme here is protecting each other’s honour and dignity. This starts with honouring Allah (SWT) and His Messenger ﷺ, and then it extrapolates to the rest of the Muslim community. Everything that we’ve been asked to not do results in protecting the other person’s honour.
It doesn’t matter at which stage you are in your life—a student, an employee, an entrepreneur or a homemaker, you need exceptional interpersonal skills to stand out. If you follow through the pointers here, you will undoubtedly be on your best display. Imagine a world where every voice is heard and every soul is respected. That’s the real squad goals for a generation that’s all about making a difference.
