By Fareed Ahmed
Drugs and Sex- these are the two thing playing havoc with the lives of the youth these day, all over the world. Like most of us, my school and college life has been spent in liberal co-educational institutions. I have witnessed numerous boys and girls deviating from decency, ethics and morality- all because of these two things. Both these things are interlinked, but attraction towards the opposite gender currently appears to be the more threatening of the two.
In elite schools and colleges, friendships with the opposite gender, hangouts, and partying around with the opposite gender is the norm. Chasing girls is a hobby amongst the boys in these educational institutions. It’s not just a hobby, but it is something which defines ones status, image, popularity and competency. The more girls around a guy, the more heroic he is considered. The case with girls is not much different. The more guys chasing a girl, the more stylish, modern and pretty she is perceived as. These perceptions are fully endorsed by the entertainment media and fashion industry. Thus peer pressure and common perception is making more and more people flirt, attract the opposite gender, have long night calls with that special him/her, go on dates, and even use drugs.
In my opinion, there are a very few people who are genuinely lovestruck; the rest seem to have just jumped on the bandwagon. Even if the tendency is genuine, it may lead to disastrous consequences, if not curbed. Numerous cases of suicide by lovestruck people are reported in the media daily. Likewise, so many families have been broken due to extra-marital affairs, having a highly adverse impact on the kids.
Let us deeply analyse the matter. Does being lovestruck make us happy or miserable? Does having boyfriends and girlfriends really define who we are? Is achieving them the real accomplishment or do we have a life beyond that?
Islam confines ones lustful feelings by giving guidelines about how to dress, and how to conduct oneself around the opposite gender. The Quran narrates stories of previous nations and prophets to instil morality and self-control in us. There’s no doubt that opposites do attract. Islam channelizes this attraction through encouraging the institution of Nikah.
What if you are in love with someone and Nikah is not practically possible?
Scholars say that if someone is deeply in love with someone, firstly he/she should never let anyone know about it. The more he will let others know, the more deep he will fall into the love trench.
Secondly, he/she should try to de-fantasize by considering the negative points of that person, and focusing on his weaknesses.
Last but not the least, we need to focus on our spiritual growth, for a peaceful and dignified dunya and akhirah.
The writer can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org