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Tips for Successful and Happy Marriages

By Raza Ullah

Islam guides us in every aspect of our life and about every event that takes place in it. Whether it’s about how to deal with the problems that we face in our social lives, private affairs or how to strengthen our truest kinship and relationships. However, the issue is that we seldom look into Islamic teachings to resolve our daily problems. We have separated religion from our worldly life. 

The teachings of our Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) guides a husband how to treat his wife and vice versa. My emphasis in this article is on the rights of the wives. In the Quran, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala says;

 هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ 

“They are Leebas (i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, for you and you are the same for them”

[Al-Baqarah, 2:187]

Regarding the rights of the wives, Prophet Muhammad’s (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said:

خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي

“The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” 

Sunan Ibn Majah 1977. 

In the last sermon خطبة الوداع, Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) advised us regarding women;

 فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّكُمْ أَخَذْتُمُوهُنَّ بِأَمَانِ اللَّهِ

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah” 

(Sahih Muslim, 1218)

Firstly, show respect to your wife. The best tool to strengthen relationships is to respect each other as Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala mentioned in the Quran:

 وَقُولُوا لِلنَّاسِ حُسْنًا  

“and speak good to people.” 

[Al-Baqarah, 2:83]. 

This principle applies everywhere, be it at home, workplace, market or wherever as it beautifies relationships. So much of importance is given to good manners in Islam, and its effects are very fruitful. Prophet Muhammad (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) said regarding good manners:

“Indeed the most beloved among you to me, and the nearest to sit with me on the Day of Judgment is the best of you in character.” 

(Jami` at-Tirmidhi, 2018)

Secondly, show your love to your wife. Say I love you and appreciate her when she is wearing a new dress,  or makes  food for you, and takes care of your parents and children. The following hadith explains  how our Prophet Muhammad (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) showed his love to his wives.

A’isha reported: 

“I would drink when I was menstruating, then I would hand it (the vessel) to the Apostle (ﷺ) and he would put his mouth where mine had been, and drink, and I would eat flesh from a bone when I was menstruating, then hand it over to the Apostle (ﷺ) and he would put his mouth where mine had been.”. 

(Sahih Muslim, 300)

Thirdly, have fun with your wives, do not be stubborn. Play games together and go for a picnic. When we study the life of our Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ), we come to know how he treated his wives. A’isha R.A. said that when she was with God’s Messenger on a journey, she raced him on foot and beat him, but when she grew, she raced him and he beat her. He said, 

“This makes up for that beating”.” 

(Mishkat al-Masabih, 3251)

Fourthly, help your wife with household chores. Our Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) did household chores and we should follow his Sunnah. Aisha (R.A) narrated in a hadith how Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) spent his day at home.

Narrated Al-Aswad: I asked `Aisha what did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do at home. She replied. 

“He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer.” 

(Sahih al-Bukhari 6039)

Fifthly, educate your wife regarding Islam and the teachings of our Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ). Help her to understand the Quran, because as a Muslim, we must live our life according to Sunnah and if we do not know the Quran and Sunnah of Allah’s messenger, how can we act accordingly? Without light, we cannot walk on a straight path. Everyone wants to be successful in this world but rarely do we think about the success of the hereafter. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala mentioned in the Quran what is the real success:

فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ  

“And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful.”

[Al-Baqarah, 3:185]

It is the duty of Muslim husbands to protect themselves and their families from hellfire. 

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا  

“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire.”

[At-Tahrim, 66:06]

If our marriages are according to the Quran and Sunnah, and we treat our wives by fearing Allah and follow the path of our Prophet (صَلَّى ٱللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ), we will definitely succeed not only in this life, but also in the hereafter.

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